Your Child and the New Age

Chapter 4

Preparing Children to Resist Values Clarification

 

 

 

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"These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." (Deuteronomy 6:6-7)

Whether we like it or not, we know that our strongest messages flow through our lifestyles. Yet, even if we could live God's values perfectly, the model is incomplete without explanation. Our children need to know that our values come from God's Word, not from a personal preference. They need to hear and discuss God's ways until they can confidently explain them to others.

Children need to know WHY as well as WHAT. Hard-hitting questions will surely come from those who challenge their faith. Knowing the basis for their convictions, they will not waver when others declare that God's ways have become obsolete.

I remember Dad talking to me with tears in his eyes and saying, "I would give up my life - I would never vote for a political candidate who would kill one of those innocent little children." I remember his passion and I began to understand why. My passion today is a direct outgrowth of what he said to me back in those early days. (Dr. James Dobson sharing his conviction concerning abortion)

Step One: Encourage Your Children To Love God

· Show your children how much you love God. Let them hear you pray, sing, thank Him, talk about Him, and make choices that honor Him.

· Show your own enthusiasm and commitment to knowing and hearing God speak to you through His Word.

· Read and discuss other books that tell about God.

· Share what God shows you. Tell how He helps you.

· Pray with your children each day for wisdom and strength. Ask God to live His life in and through you. Show that you rely on Him.

· Thank Him together for answers to prayers. Be specific.

· Practice living God's truth together, as you play games, eat meals, participate in sports, ride in the car, share your resources with others. Remember that all activities are opportunities to live for God and affirm your appreciation for what He values.

Step Two: Share God's Values with Your Child

Ask God to show you how to communicate in natural age-appropriate ways. The simplest way is to discuss your own personal experiences from God's perspective during your ordinary encounters-when you "sit ... walk [or drive] ... lie down ... and get up."

YOU may want to use the following topics and questions for meal or bedtime discussion or for special family evenings. Choose items appropriate to your children, adjusting the words to their age-level.

Explore the meaning of values

    ·  What does it mean to value something?

    ·  What do you value? Least? Most?

    ·  What determines your values?

·  What costs are you willing to pay for what you value? Rejection, teasing, not seeing certain movies?

Discuss what God says about things He loves

    ·    Honoring parents: Exodus 20:12

    ·   Obeying parents: Ephesians 6:1 -Respecting authority: Romans 13:1

    ·    Following God - our highest authority: Acts 5:29; John 10:4

    ·    Love: I Corinthians 13:1-7

    ·    Forgiving and caring for others: Luke 6:27-36

    ·  Discuss what God says about things He hates.

    ·  Lying: Proverbs 12:22

    ·  Stealing: Matthew 19:18

    ·  Cheating: 1 Corinthians 6:8-9

    ·  Greed: Luke 12:15

    ·  Rudeness and swearing: Ephesians 5:3-5

    · Talk about what would happen if everyone followed this guideline: Do whatever feels right. How important are Judeo-Christian values to our society?

"I have never asked my children’s opinion about the truth of this value claim [that torture is wrong] and do not intend to do so, just as I never asked them their opinion about the law of gravity. ... Rather, I teach them the truth of this value and expect them both to believe it and to base their action on it." (Richard A. Baer, Jr.)1

Step Three: Train Your Children To Be "Ambassadors" for God

· Tell your own experience of standing up for what you believe. Help your children understand your inner battle to choose God’s way. Assure them that you empathize with their struggles - and that God’s favor is worth far more than peer approval. No matter how inadequate we feel, we who belong to Him are His ambassadors, equipped by Him for whatever assignment He gives us. (2 Corinthians 5:20).

· Take time to read together stories about courageous Christians. Nobody outgrows the richness of family reading.

· Practice sharing your convictions with each other. (1 Peter 3:15-17)

Step Four: Know What Values the School Teaches

America's obvious moral deterioration has fueled a growing demand for values education. Offered in an atmosphere that rejects biblical roots, values teaching will continue to grow out of the sandy foundation of moral relativism.

Talk with your child about classroom activities.

Scan texts, take-home projects, and fliers. 

Discuss movies and special classroom activities. Ask: Do they...

· Put down Christian values? Imply that honesty, loyalty, obedience, and sexual purity are outdated or negotiable? Recommend or model situational ethics?

·  Present a negative view of parents? Suggest that parents are old-fashioned, too strict, or intrusive? Recommend that students ignore parents' advice and dismiss their guidelines?

· Require students to reveal or discuss private family matters? Ask embarrassing personal questions?

· Evidence the use of group counseling or psychological techniques? Tell your child to keep secret an assignment or project?

· Use peer pressure to conform children to popular standards and class consensus?

· Promote self-gratification rather than actions that produce patience, perseverance, and maturity?

If any answer is yes, speak with the teacher or school officials. Follow the guidelines in chapter 2 of this book.

In January 1989 four schoolteachers sued the San Ramon, California school board and superintendent for forbidding the use of R-rated movies in the classroom. The two main thrusts of their complaint: (1) Their constitutional right to free speech in the classroom - even before a captive audience who must listen in order to pass tests; and (2) Prohibition of R-rated film is tantamount to teaching the religious view of a small minority of citizens.

Examine the sex and/or AIDS education program. If it promotes sexual activity, join with other concerned parents, and suggest alternatives. Two excellent programs are: Sex Respect, which encourages teenagers to "say no," and Teen-Aid, which emphasizes "the deep meaning of sexuality in the context of the family." (Respect, Inc., Bradley, IL 60915; Teen-Aid, N. 1330 Kalispell, Spokane, WA 99201)

Step Five: Be part of a church based on Biblical truth and values

    Does it teach the basic tenets of Christianity? 

Does it have a plan for teaching biblical morality? The Ten Commandments is a simple and basic outline of God's values. The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) shows the utter impossibility of keeping God’s Laws by our own strength, and therefore reminds us to acknowledge our need and trust in His sufficiency.

    Is there mutual encouragement based on Biblical teaching? Parents need to agree on standards, so that children realize that other families follow the same firm guidelines.

Step Seven: Emphasize Values Through Political Involvement

Democracy and freedom are often taken for granted in America. You may want to help your children value these privileges by sharing your involvement in the political process. Many of our precious freedoms as parents are being challenged at all three political levels: local, state, and national. If we fail to speak up, these may vanish.

A Christian group, Committee on Moral Concerns, alerted the public to two bills submitted to the California legislature in 1988. Both died in the Assembly; if they had passed, they would have required (1) mandatory sex education starting in first grade and (2) AIDS education, with emphasis on homosexual acts, starting in kindergarten. Most of the policymakers in the school system are fighting for values opposite to ours. Therefore, Christians need to stay alert and join together in Spirit-led resistance. To receive current information about critical issues, subscribe to Citizen, a monthly magazine published by Focus on the Family, Pomona, CA 91799.

Projects for Adolescents

Talk together about the basic goals of sex education. In most places, these goals are not to prevent sexual activity but to release children from parental authority to a "new" sensual lifestyle. This fits humanist and New Age demands for a return to nature, for pleasure, and for enlightenment through ecstasy. It also closes doors to Christianity - most sexually active teens will shut out voices that question their chosen lifestyle.

 Define and discuss words like ...

· Love. What kinds? Based on what? (See 1 Corinthians 13:1-7; John 15:12-14; 1 John 4:7-12)

· Commitment. What is it? What are the costs?

· Respect. What makes you respect yourself? Others? Who are some of the people you respect? Why?

· Intimacy. What is it? How can teens be intimate without having sex? How can sex hinder intimacy?

· Chastity or virginity. What do they mean? Why are they good?

· Dating. Advantages of group dating? Disadvantages of group dating? How can you show love without sex?

· Abortion. Study these Scriptures for insight: Jeremiah 1:4-5; Psalm 127:3; 139:13-16; Luke 1-41-45.

Know what God says about your body in 1 Corinthians 3:16-17; 6:15-20.

Know what He says about sex outside marriage in Ephesians 5:3; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5; and Genesis 39:7-9.

A study conducted in conservative Christian churches found that among teens who believe that Jesus is their personal Saviour and who also attend church weekly, forty percent have engaged in premarital sex.2

God made sex the most beautiful expression of intimacy and love possible between a man and a woman who are committed to each other. But outside marriage, it can cripple the body and mind with excruciating emotional pain and lasting wounds. "When you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they have had sex with for the last ten years, and everyone they and their partners have had sex with for the last ten years!" (C. Everett Koop, former U.S. Surgeon General)

Steps To Victory

1.  See yourself as special and unique, belonging to God - created, planned, and guarded by Him.

2. Be wise. Study God's guidelines. (Ephesians 5:15-18)

3. Know your own weaknesses. Trust in God’s strength. Decide to say NO to disobedience before you take the first step. Avoid compromising situations. (1 Timothy 4:7-8)

4. Remind yourself...

· "His grace is sufficient in my weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

· "He lives in me." Galatians 2:20

· "I can do all things in Christ." Philippians 4:13

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